I imagine this will be a headline in the papers someday. This is a serious matter folks! Why would anybody ever walk to the fridge again when you can just teleport that turkey leg straight onto your lap.
(This rant was the result of Liz & Phiyen getting me Watchmen comic book for my bday)
“…We both love bacon and country music, what more could you possibly want?”
What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that’s for beginners. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. I wanted to say something to this effect, but my hand puppets were back home in their drawer. Instead, I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.
~ David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
There were so many great excerpts from this book and it was tremendously difficult to choose a favorite one. Well, couldn’t help myself…had to go with the one that mentioned “bacon”.
evelyn
Happy 2009! :)
Yo! You know what really grinds my gears? Friggin when women pee on the seat. I’ve never understood that. If you don’t want to sit on the toilet, that’s fine. Just use one of those goddamn paper seat covers! Why must you stoop over the seat and leave pee residue for the next person??? !@#$% And what is up with people not flushing??? How do you forget to flush?! You don’t forget to wipe. Flushing is like the next natural act that follows wiping. Grrrrrrrrr
** Shakes Fist **
By far, the best thing about Wrath of the Lich King so far…
Today a pep talk email was sent out to our product management department at work and it was accompanied with the following article:
Notice how one of the ways that tech stores can regain the public’s trust is to DON’T SUCK!
lol
Such great constructive criticism.
Dear Ms. Eliza,
I am writing to inform you that your 8gb flash drive has successfully been purchased. Thank you for contributing this precious $15 to my salary here at xxxxxx.com.
Also, I had this dream that you wanted some vintage curtains that had cherry print all over them. When I saw the picture in the catalog, I thought to myself…yuck! Nonetheless, I went with you to the thrift store to hunt them down, and to my surprise, the curtains looked rather adorable in real life (or errr… real life that’s in dream life). Just wanted to give you a heads up. Cherry print vintage curtains. They won’t look like yuck.
Your Pal,
ev
PS: I got food poisoning this weekend and was stuck at home watching like 40 hours of television. Saw Steel Magnolias for the first time. Shirley McLlaine as “Ouiser” … let me just say “My new hero”. Crotchety old bitch with a heart of gold. Holla’
Man, I keep forgetting to post this. If you are having technical difficulties trying to watch our animation film, it might be because you need to download QuickTime player. We have waited 5 seconds. Now that you have finished downloading QuickTime player, please put aside an hour of your life to watch Pretty Pink Princess Hour Episode One.
So I’ve always wanted a pet, but living in a condo pretty much limits a lot of my options. It also doesn’t help to live with a mom who’s obsessed about maintaining a spotless clean house. Nonetheless, about 5 months ago, I decided to get a betta fish. This low maintenance creature seemed like the perfect starter pet for a lazy first time pet owner such as myself.
Maverick is a fierce little guy and curious about everything around him. The initial car ride home alarmed him a bit, and it was not until later that I learned that bettas are not keen on currents or movements in the water. But all was well as soon as I introduced him to his new digs, a roomy 1/2 gallon tank. This was of course, a luxurious upgrade compared to his previous residence, the cramp little holding cup from Petco. He adjusted quite well, and was almost immediately swimming around happily, investigating his new apt. Since then, Maverick has gone through 2 more tank upgrades, and I am currently entertaining getting a 3 gallon tank for him. The little guy has already costed me over a $100. Low maintenance my ass lol.
Every morning when I come into the office, Maverick greets me by wagging his body back and forth really fast like a little puppy. I’d like to imagine that he’s happy to see ME, but I know he’s probably just really excited that the food lady is here to feed him again. It is hard to stare at that bulldog smile without melting a little, and I always give in and feed him a little extra when he really shouldn’t have anymore. He’s really growing into a little fatty now.
Once in awhile, I feel the need to make him exercise, so I play the “Look! Here’s a mirror! Zomg! It’s another betta!” and he goes nuts. He really doesn’t need more exercise though because I swear that fish has A.D.D. He can’t sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time. I just need to feed him less. :P
Maverick has a roommate, a tiny snail named Speedy. Most of the time, Maverick does not acknowledge his presence. Every once in awhile though, the snail will catch Maverick on a bad day, and Maverick pretty much goes crazy on him. He’ll start swimming back and forth and flaring his gills until it looks like they’re about to pop out. It’s almost like he’s sayin “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THIS TANK?! WHY YOU TAKING UP SO MUCH SPACE!?? GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” But seconds later, he’ll calm down and forget why he was even mad at the little fellah to begin with.
Those are some awful pictures of Maverick which don’t due his beauty justice at all. But like I said earlier, the little dude won’t freakin stop moving, and 80% of my pictures of him are blurry.
Anyway, just wanted to introduce ya’ll to - Maverick, the love of my life. <3
~ evelyn
